Going Back to School – How Will This Affect our Children’s Mental Health?
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Published: 17 September 2023
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15 min read
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Published: 17 September 2023
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15 min read
It’s official. Our kids are going back to school in a few weeks. Parent’s communities online are abuzz with a zillion questions, opinions, perspectives, and fears. So many questions are being raised with no exact answers. In particular, I get a lot of questions that have to do with going back to school and children’s mental health. To a parent, this idea is very scary.
Our number one priority is to protect our children. We feel if we have exact answers to our questions then we will feel safe and we will know that our children are safe. In this environment, with a completely new Pandemic, all of our health experts and Scientists have a vast challenge on their hands.
How do they direct us in safely educating all the while protecting the safety of our children? They rely on science in order to mitigate the effects of the pandemic while also having a very strong base of knowledge of exactly how important being in school is for our children’s mental health.
Alex Munter, CHEO and CEO of Ottawa’s children’s hospital stressed how very important it is to get our children back to school and into their social environment. Many children’s health experts are already seeing the negative results of having our children segregated.
I myself see this with my own child and adolescent clients. I have seen the effect with my own young daughter and some of her friends. The light that once lit our children up is going out and depression is already taking them over. Also, their brains are rapidly growing and they need their normal social connections and in-person learning to facilitate this appropriate growth.
What do our children need most from their parents as we prepare to head back? Similar to an earlier article I penned, Here, it is from a child’s perspective.
“I am sooo excited to go back to school! I miss my friends soooo much and I can’t wait to see my Teacher from last year! I thought I was having March break and then I was coming back to school to see her again and then suddenly, she was ripped out of my life.
I didn’t get to say Good Bye. We didn’t get to celebrate her Birthday as we had all planned. I missed her so much. I miss my friends so much! I felt sad for so long, then I sort of started to not feel anything. I feel sort of numb, like nothing really makes me happy and nothing really makes me feel sad. It’s weird…. Oh Well.
So, getting back to school this year!
I am sooo happy we get to go back!”
“Lately though, my Mom and Dad have been constantly talking and sometimes arguing about me going back. Mom is completely stressed out about me going back.
She thinks that it isn’t safe enough but my Dad feels the opposite. He tells my Mom to relax and stop being dramatic! Mom tells him that “He isn’t taking this seriously! This is the safety of our child!” “How can you not take this serious!? No one knows what is the safest options! Not even health experts!” My Mom is furious. She storms out of the room and my Dad mumbles something about her being exhausting….”
“How can something I am so excited and happy about doing cause so much stress and arguing amongst my Parents? Why is everyone so mad?! Can’t they see this is so great??
So, what if I have to wear a mask?! At least I can get out of this house and see all of my friends and Teachers again! Don’t they understand that this is what I want?
I need normalcy so badly! I love school!
I just want everything to go back to normal!”
“Mom is scared all of the time and Dad is mad and stressed.
I feel like listening to all of the fear and arguing for the past 5 months has made me feel so scared. I don’t know if we can afford the things we need because I have heard so many discussions about money. Life has just been completely different and there have been good things but, many bad things.
Don’t they understand that if they ‘aren’t okay, I can’t be okay’?
I need them to be okay so they can take care of me. If they aren’t I get so scared.
I need Mom and Dad to be calm, to tell me everything and everyone will be okay.
I need them to show me that no matter what happens, they will be here for me.
I can not handle all of their stress and anxiety anymore!
They think they are hiding it from me but they aren’t!”
This is just a snippet of what our children are experiencing.
How can we help our children? I have heard many Parents ask this question.
The most important thing we can do for our children is take care of our own mental health.
They can only be okay if we are okay.
We can manage our stress through learning techniques that can calm our own anxiety.
Whether that be deep breathing skills or Cognitive Behavioural techniques which can help us manage our automatic thoughts. (usually these are negative thoughts).
I have discovered a specific protocol for decreasing the automatic anxious responses of our fight or flight response. It helps to regulate our brain and our reactions and takes us from an anxious brain to a relaxed brain.
It is a simple technique that I teach my adult as well as and my child and teenage clients.
It takes approximately 3 weeks to notice a significant change in your anxious responses if done regularly.
Self care is important. When we take care of ourselves, our children experience a more safe and calm Parent and we model to them what taking care of themselves looks like.
This can mean taking a bath while listening to soft or meditative music.
Exercising, cooking healthy foods, setting positive goals, reading, yoga and spending time with friends in whichever way works for you are all ways of taking care of yourself sets a beautiful example for our kids.
Our children will then perceive us as ‘okay’, as calm and as grounded.
When they can see us like this, they can then feel the same.
I feel the most important part of this return to school experience is going to be how the Parents are choosing to handle it. The way you handle it, is the way your children will handle it.
If you can remain calm, positive and be gentle in your conversations around this return to school, so will your children.
If they struggle, you will be grounded enough to take good care of them, so that they can have their experience without feeling the need to worry about you.
When our children feel they need to take care of us, this sets them up for a lifetime of abandoning themselves in favour of pleasing everyone else.
As Parents, let’s reach out for the help or support that we need, so that we can be the support our children need when they reach as well.
Last but not least, at Whitehouse Psychotherapy, we specialize in Adolescent therapy amongst other types of Psychotherapy, so please do not hesitate to reach out to us 😊
Are you ready to take the next step towards a healthier and happier self? Let's get in touch with a free consultation.
Why would my child need an assessment?
Child Assessments are essential if there are concerns about your child’s development, emotional well-being, or cognitive skills. They help in understanding your child’s needs to provide tailored support and interventions.
5 ways in which a Child Assessment can help:
1. Identifies Developmental Milestones: Tracks whether your child is meeting developmental milestones in cognitive, language, and motor skills.
2. Highlights Emotional Concerns: Detects emotional or social difficulties that might be affecting
3. Assesses Learning Abilities: Evaluates strengths and weaknesses in learning to tailor educational strategies.
4. Informs Treatment Plans: Provides crucial information that helps in developing effective treatment and intervention plans.
5. Supports Educational Planning: Assists in creating individualized educational plans (IEPs) that cater to specific learning needs.
How do Child Assessments work?
Child Assessments typically involve a series of standardized tests and observations conducted by a team of specialists, including psychologists and therapists. These assessments might include interviews, psychological testing, and observational tasks, which collectively help in forming a comprehensive understanding of the child’s abilities and challenges.
![cognitive behavioural therapy](https://www.shelleywhitehouse.com/wp-content/themes/WHPsychotherapy/images/landing-pages/child-therapy/idea.png")
Why would my child need Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is ideal if your child or teen is struggling to cope with negative thoughts or behavioural patterns that affect their daily life, emotional well-being, and ability to function.
5 ways in which Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help:
1. Enhances Self-Control: Teaches your child to manage their reactions and responses to challenging situations.
2. Reduces Stress and Anxiety: Helps in identifying and altering thought patterns that contribute to stress and anxiety.
3. Improves Emotional Regulation: Assists in understanding and regulating emotions to foster better interpersonal relationships.
4. Boosts Confidence: Builds self-esteem by empowering your child to take charge of their thoughts and actions.
5. Encourages Resilience: Develops coping strategies to overcome adversity and build resilience.
How does Cognitive Behavioural Therapy work?
CBT combines talk therapy with practical behavioural strategies, guiding your child to identify distorted thinking patterns. Therapists work closely with your child to provide effective tools that help them reframe these thoughts. This process fosters a better understanding of their emotions and behaviours, leading directly to positive behavioural changes and improved mental well-being.
Why would my child need Art Therapy?
Art Therapy is beneficial if your child has difficulty expressing their thoughts and emotions verbally. It offers a creative outlet for expression and emotional release.
5 ways in which Art Therapy can help:
1. Fosters Emotional Expression: Provides a non-verbal mode of expressing complex feelings.
2. Enhances Creativity: Stimulates creativity and imagination, which can be therapeutic and rewarding.
3. Reduces Anxiety: Creates a calm and focused environment, reducing stress and anxiety.
4. Improves Self-Esteem: Builds confidence through the achievement of creating art.
5. Promotes Self-Discovery: Encourages self-exploration and understanding through the creative process.
How does Art Therapy work?
Art Therapy uses drawing, painting, and other artistic methods as a means of communication. A therapist guides your child through creative activities that aim to uncover and address underlying emotional issues.
Why would my child need Anxiety Therapy?
Anxiety Therapy is essential if your child experiences persistent anxiety that interferes with their school, social life, or overall happiness.
5 ways in which Anxiety Therapy can help:
1. Teaches Coping Mechanisms: Provides tools and techniques to manage and reduce feelings of anxiety.
2. Boosts Confidence: Helps children face their fears and build confidence through gradual exposure and resilience training.
3. Improves Focus and Concentration: Reduces anxiety-induced distractions, improving focus at school and in other activities.
4. Encourages Social Interaction: Supports children in overcoming social anxieties, facilitating better interactions with peers.
5. Promotes Calmness: Teaches relaxation techniques to help maintain calmness in stressful situations.
How does Anxiety Therapy work?
Anxiety Therapy primarily employs cognitive-behavioural techniques to directly target and modify the thoughts and behaviours that fuel anxiety. Additionally, this therapy may incorporate exposure therapy to gradually reduce anxiety responses in feared situations, alongside relaxation exercises designed to calm the mind and body. This comprehensive approach ensures a thorough treatment of anxiety symptoms.
Why would my child need Child Behavioural Therapy?
Child Behavioural Therapy is recommended if your child exhibits disruptive or negative behaviours that impact their well-being and social interactions.
5 ways in which Child Behavioural Therapy can help:
1. Improves Behavioural: Teaches positive behavior replacement techniques.
2. Enhances Social Skills: Fosters better social interactions through role-playing and social skill training.
3. Behavioural Issues: Addresses specific behavioral issues such as aggression, non-compliance, and impulsivity.
4. Empowers Decision Making: Helps children make positive choices independently.
5. Strengthens Parent-Child Relationship: Offers strategies for parents to support and reinforce positive behaviors at home.
How does Art Therapy work?
Child Behavioral Therapy involves structured sessions where a therapist works with a child to pinpoint the reasons behind their behavior. Using practical techniques, the therapist helps the child recognize triggers and develop better coping mechanisms. This approach teaches essential skills like emotional regulation and problem-solving, leading to positive changes in the child’s behavior and daily interactions.
Why would we need Family Therapy?
Family Therapy is necessary when family dynamics contribute to a child’s issues or when the entire family needs support to navigate a child’s challenges together.
5 ways in which Family Therapy can help:
1. Strengthens Family Bonds: Improves communication skills and understanding among family members.
2. Resolves Conflicts: Provides strategies to resolve conflicts and reduce tensions within the home.
3. Supports All Members: Ensures that every family member feels supported and valued.
4. Promotes Understanding: Helps family members understand the needs and behaviors of others, fostering empathy.
5. Guides through Transitions: Assists families in managing transitions or crises effectively.
How does Family Therapy work?
The goal of Family Therapy is to improve communication and resolve conflicts within the family unit. During these sessions, the therapist employs targeted interactions and exercises that are designed to deepen mutual understanding and foster cooperation among family members. This approach helps identify and address patterns that disrupt family dynamics, ultimately promoting a healthier, more supportive home environment.
Why would I need Stress Therapy?
Stress Therapy is designed for anyone feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of daily life, work, relationships, or specific events. It’s for those seeking effective strategies to manage stress, reduce its impact, and improve overall well-being.
5 signs you may need Stress Therapy
1. You feel overwhelmed or anxious more days than not.
2. Physical symptoms (headaches, stomach issues) are frequent.
3. Your sleep or appetite has changed due to stress.
4. You’re irritable or have difficulty concentrating.
5. Stress is affecting your work, relationships, or health.
How does Stress Therapy work?
Stress therapy offers techniques and strategies to reduce your stress levels, improve your coping mechanisms, and help you build a more resilient mindset. Through personalized sessions, learn how to manage stress effectively and regain control over your wellbeing.
Why would I need Anxiety Therapy?
Anxiety therapy helps individuals who are frequently overwhelmed by worry, fear, or nervousness, impacting their daily activities, relationships, and personal achievements.
5 signs you may need Anxiety Therapy
1. Constant worry affecting daily life.
2. Physical symptoms without medical reasons.
3. Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank.
4. Avoiding activities due to fear.
5. Experiencing intense anxiety or panic attacks.
How does Anxiety Therapy work?
Anxiety therapy primarily utilizes cognitive-behavioral techniques to identify and modify negative thought patterns. Strategies include exposure therapy, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness, aimed at reducing anxiety symptoms and improving coping mechanisms.
Why would I need Panic Attack Treatment?
This treatment is essential for those experiencing unexpected, intense fear or discomfort, often with physical symptoms, seeking to regain control over their lives.
5 signs you may need Panic Attack Treatment
1. Sudden, intense fear without danger.
2. Physical symptoms like heart palpitations during an attack.
3. Fear of losing control or doom.
4. Avoiding places or situations fearing an attack.
5. Worrying about the next panic attack.
How does Panic Attack Treatment work?
Panic attack treatment often involves cognitive-behavioral therapy to understand and change the thought patterns that trigger attacks. Techniques may include exposure therapy, relaxation exercises, and sometimes medication to manage symptoms effectively.
Why would I need Social Anxiety Therapy?
Ideal for those who experience significant anxiety in social situations, affecting their ability to engage and connect with others.
5 signs you may need Social Anxiety Therapy
1. Fear of judgment or embarrassment in social settings.
2. Avoiding new social interactions.
3. Physical symptoms in social situations.
4. Excessive worry about social events.
5. Difficulty in friendships due to social fear.
How does Social Anxiety Therapy work?
Social anxiety therapy includes exposure therapy to gradually face social situations, cognitive restructuring to challenge negative thoughts, and social skills training to improve interaction confidence. These methods aim to reduce social anxiety levels and enhance social functioning.
Why would I need Depression Therapy?
Depression Therapy is critical for those feeling a deep sense of sadness, hopelessness, or disinterest in life, which affects their daily function and happiness.
5 signs you may need Depression Therapy
1. Persistent hopelessness.
2. Losing interest in enjoyable activities.
3. Appetite or weight changes; sleep issues.
4. Constant fatigue.
5. Thoughts of death or suicide.
How does Depression Therapy work?
Depression therapy may involve different approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy to address negative thought patterns, interpersonal therapy to improve relationship skills, and psychodynamic therapy to explore underlying issues. These techniques aim to alleviate depressive symptoms and improve emotional well-being.
Why would I need Individual Therapy?
Individual Therapy is beneficial for addressing a broad spectrum of personal challenges, from navigating life changes to managing mental health conditions, in a personalized and confidential setting.
5 signs you may need Individual Therapy
1. Overwhelmed by stress or emotions.
2. Difficulty coping with life transitions or loss.
3. Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or anger.
4. Relationship problems or loneliness.
5. Behavioral or substance use issues.
How does Individual Therapy work?
Individual therapy involves one-on-one sessions with a therapist to explore personal issues, emotions, and behaviors. Through techniques tailored to the individual’s needs, such as cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, or humanistic approaches, therapy aims to provide insight, resolve issues, and promote psychological health.
