At the beginning of our relationship we are so in love! Everything is flowers, tummy butterflies and chills all over right? We are completely infatuated and excited. Then months or even a year goes by and suddenly, we wonder, “Wait! Who is this person?!” Then Bam! Suddenly we are thinking, “Maybe we need to find a Relationship Therapist in Toronto to help us figure this out?”
We begin to feel like we don’t recognize our partner. He or she is not all about us anymore. They may be pre-occupied with their own life and interests. We may begin to wonder, “What changed?” “Don’t they want me anymore?”
As we get comfortable in our relationships, our unconscious reasons for seeking a relationship and under-lying unhealed issues can arise.
Often within a romantic relationship, one partner has a “Fear of Abandonment” and one partner has a “Fear of Engulfment.”
What Does This All Mean For my Relationship?
More than likely, the Fear of Abandonment partner had a parental relationship where they felt unseen, unheard or completely insignificant. Perhaps the parent was never home or was pre-occupied with other things or people. The Fear of Engulfment partner was perhaps so smothered or over-parented that they feel being fully in a relationship will devour them, over-take them.
Both of these places are difficult and possibly painful to be in. With the proper education and understanding these opposite parts can learn how to lovingly and peacefully co-exist together.
This can be a very frustrating and confusing time. Often time people will seek a Relationship Therapist in Toronto or seek a referral near their home or work place to enlist assistance in helping navigate this tumultuous time.
With the right help and education, relationships can be healed and in many cases become even more connected and happy than ever before.
Please feel free to contact Psychotherapy with Shelley when seeking a Relationship Therapist in Toronto.