Your Mask Has No Face Behind It
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Published: 17 September 2023
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10 min read
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Published: 17 September 2023
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10 min read
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and fully embracing who we really are.
Choosing authenticity means one cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries and allowing yourself to be vulnerable.” Brene Brown. So what do we mean by your mask has no face behind it?
Often times people wear masks in order to cover up their fears and vulnerabilities or the weakness they perceive about themselves. The amount of energy this “playacting” takes can feel incredibly draining. Sometimes we cover up our ‘true self’ so well and for so long that we begin to forget where we end and where our masks begin.
We totally lose our sense of self in favor of our masks(fronts).
When we grow up with any sort of trauma, especially in childhood, it can affect how we feel about ourselves.
For example, if a parent is struggling in some way and they cannot take proper care of us and provide the loving attunement we require especially emotionally, we will tend to look at our parent in the following way; “If they are not okay, then I am not okay. In order for my parent to keep me alive, He/She has to be ‘okay’. If they are not, I will die because they will not be able to care for me. Therefore, I will make myself the ‘bad/wrong one’ so that my parent can be ‘perfect’ and okay’ and keep me alive.” This is a sub-conscious dialogue to one’s self. We are not aware of this thought process.
Children internalize the dysfunction and make themselves defective. They then look at themselves as never being good enough, never doing enough and often times may become “Care Taker” type personalities. They believe that the more they serve or do for other people, then they will be accepted and they just might feel ‘good enough’ about themselves.
Or, they become cold and aloof, terrified of letting anybody see their vulnerability in great fear that if their ‘true self’ was seen, they would be shamed and abandoned.
We will go to great lengths to keep the most authentic parts of us hidden far from view and possible ridicule from others.
If we were bullied as a child at all or had a parent who was incredibly shaming or even simply placed way too much responsibility on us way too early, these things can and do greatly affect the way in which we feel about ourselves and our ability to show up authentically to the world.
The thought of putting our self in a place where others can see our most sensitive and true nature can cause anxiety and fear. It is important to only share our deepest vulnerabilities with people who have earned our deepest trust. With them, we can fully share our feelings and experiences without fear of retribution or shaming. They support us with empathy and care.
The goal would be to get to the point where we accept our self to the point that other people’s opinion of us doesn’t affect us because we love and accept our selves fully.
When we can be brave enough to sit in Vulnerability with ourselves and even another person who has earned our trust and faith, then we can begin to realize that being our authentic self, is one the most calm and freeing feelings available to us.
It is my incredible honor to be able to help guide my clients in removing their masks and fully being with their authentic self and sharing that part of them with the world. Please check out Psychotherapy with Shelley for more information!
Are you ready to take the next step towards a healthier and happier self? Let's get in touch with a free consultation.
Why would my child need Child Behavioural Therapy?
Child Behavioural Therapy is recommended if your child exhibits disruptive or negative behaviours that impact their well-being and social interactions.
5 ways in which Child Behavioural Therapy can help:
1. Improves Behavioural: Teaches positive behavior replacement techniques.
2. Enhances Social Skills: Fosters better social interactions through role-playing and social skill training.
3. Behavioural Issues: Addresses specific behavioral issues such as aggression, non-compliance, and impulsivity.
4. Empowers Decision Making: Helps children make positive choices independently.
5. Strengthens Parent-Child Relationship: Offers strategies for parents to support and reinforce positive behaviors at home.
How does Child Behavioural Therapy work?
Child Behavioral Therapy involves structured sessions where a therapist works with a child to pinpoint the reasons behind their behavior. Using practical techniques, the therapist helps the child recognize triggers and develop better coping mechanisms. This approach teaches essential skills like emotional regulation and problem-solving, leading to positive changes in the child’s behavior and daily interactions.
Why would my child need an assessment?
Child Assessments are essential if there are concerns about your child’s development, emotional well-being, or cognitive skills. They help in understanding your child’s needs to provide tailored support and interventions.
5 ways in which a Child Assessment can help:
1. Identifies Developmental Milestones: Tracks whether your child is meeting developmental milestones in cognitive, language, and motor skills.
2. Highlights Emotional Concerns: Detects emotional or social difficulties that might be affecting
3. Assesses Learning Abilities: Evaluates strengths and weaknesses in learning to tailor educational strategies.
4. Informs Treatment Plans: Provides crucial information that helps in developing effective treatment and intervention plans.
5. Supports Educational Planning: Assists in creating individualized educational plans (IEPs) that cater to specific learning needs.
How do Child Assessments work?
Child Assessments typically involve a series of standardized tests and observations conducted by a team of specialists, including psychologists and therapists. These assessments might include interviews, psychological testing, and observational tasks, which collectively help in forming a comprehensive understanding of the child’s abilities and challenges.
![cognitive behavioural therapy](https://www.shelleywhitehouse.com/wp-content/themes/WHPsychotherapy/images/landing-pages/child-therapy/idea.png")
Why would my child need Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is ideal if your child or teen is struggling to cope with negative thoughts or behavioural patterns that affect their daily life, emotional well-being, and ability to function.
5 ways in which Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can help:
1. Enhances Self-Control: Teaches your child to manage their reactions and responses to challenging situations.
2. Reduces Stress and Anxiety: Helps in identifying and altering thought patterns that contribute to stress and anxiety.
3. Improves Emotional Regulation: Assists in understanding and regulating emotions to foster better interpersonal relationships.
4. Boosts Confidence: Builds self-esteem by empowering your child to take charge of their thoughts and actions.
5. Encourages Resilience: Develops coping strategies to overcome adversity and build resilience.
How does Cognitive Behavioural Therapy work?
CBT combines talk therapy with practical behavioural strategies, guiding your child to identify distorted thinking patterns. Therapists work closely with your child to provide effective tools that help them reframe these thoughts. This process fosters a better understanding of their emotions and behaviours, leading directly to positive behavioural changes and improved mental well-being.
Why would my child need Art Therapy?
Art Therapy is beneficial if your child has difficulty expressing their thoughts and emotions verbally. It offers a creative outlet for expression and emotional release.
5 ways in which Art Therapy can help:
1. Fosters Emotional Expression: Provides a non-verbal mode of expressing complex feelings.
2. Enhances Creativity: Stimulates creativity and imagination, which can be therapeutic and rewarding.
3. Reduces Anxiety: Creates a calm and focused environment, reducing stress and anxiety.
4. Improves Self-Esteem: Builds confidence through the achievement of creating art.
5. Promotes Self-Discovery: Encourages self-exploration and understanding through the creative process.
How does Art Therapy work?
Art Therapy uses drawing, painting, and other artistic methods as a means of communication. A therapist guides your child through creative activities that aim to uncover and address underlying emotional issues.
Why would my child need Anxiety Therapy?
Anxiety Therapy is essential if your child experiences persistent anxiety that interferes with their school, social life, or overall happiness.
5 ways in which Anxiety Therapy can help:
1. Teaches Coping Mechanisms: Provides tools and techniques to manage and reduce feelings of anxiety.
2. Boosts Confidence: Helps children face their fears and build confidence through gradual exposure and resilience training.
3. Improves Focus and Concentration: Reduces anxiety-induced distractions, improving focus at school and in other activities.
4. Encourages Social Interaction: Supports children in overcoming social anxieties, facilitating better interactions with peers.
5. Promotes Calmness: Teaches relaxation techniques to help maintain calmness in stressful situations.
How does Anxiety Therapy work?
Anxiety Therapy primarily employs cognitive-behavioural techniques to directly target and modify the thoughts and behaviours that fuel anxiety. Additionally, this therapy may incorporate exposure therapy to gradually reduce anxiety responses in feared situations, alongside relaxation exercises designed to calm the mind and body. This comprehensive approach ensures a thorough treatment of anxiety symptoms.
Why would we need Family Therapy?
Family Therapy is necessary when family dynamics contribute to a child’s issues or when the entire family needs support to navigate a child’s challenges together.
5 ways in which Family Therapy can help:
1. Strengthens Family Bonds: Improves communication skills and understanding among family members.
2. Resolves Conflicts: Provides strategies to resolve conflicts and reduce tensions within the home.
3. Supports All Members: Ensures that every family member feels supported and valued.
4. Promotes Understanding: Helps family members understand the needs and behaviors of others, fostering empathy.
5. Guides through Transitions: Assists families in managing transitions or crises effectively.
How does Family Therapy work?
The goal of Family Therapy is to improve communication and resolve conflicts within the family unit. During these sessions, the therapist employs targeted interactions and exercises that are designed to deepen mutual understanding and foster cooperation among family members. This approach helps identify and address patterns that disrupt family dynamics, ultimately promoting a healthier, more supportive home environment.
Why would I need Stress Therapy?
Stress Therapy is designed for anyone feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of daily life, work, relationships, or specific events. It’s for those seeking effective strategies to manage stress, reduce its impact, and improve overall well-being.
5 signs you may need Stress Therapy
1. You feel overwhelmed or anxious more days than not.
2. Physical symptoms (headaches, stomach issues) are frequent.
3. Your sleep or appetite has changed due to stress.
4. You’re irritable or have difficulty concentrating.
5. Stress is affecting your work, relationships, or health.
How does Stress Therapy work?
Stress therapy offers techniques and strategies to reduce your stress levels, improve your coping mechanisms, and help you build a more resilient mindset. Through personalized sessions, learn how to manage stress effectively and regain control over your wellbeing.
Why would I need Anxiety Therapy?
Anxiety therapy helps individuals who are frequently overwhelmed by worry, fear, or nervousness, impacting their daily activities, relationships, and personal achievements.
5 signs you may need Anxiety Therapy
1. Constant worry affecting daily life.
2. Physical symptoms without medical reasons.
3. Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank.
4. Avoiding activities due to fear.
5. Experiencing intense anxiety or panic attacks.
How does Anxiety Therapy work?
Anxiety therapy primarily utilizes cognitive-behavioral techniques to identify and modify negative thought patterns. Strategies include exposure therapy, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness, aimed at reducing anxiety symptoms and improving coping mechanisms.
Why would I need Panic Attack Treatment?
This treatment is essential for those experiencing unexpected, intense fear or discomfort, often with physical symptoms, seeking to regain control over their lives.
5 signs you may need Panic Attack Treatment
1. Sudden, intense fear without danger.
2. Physical symptoms like heart palpitations during an attack.
3. Fear of losing control or doom.
4. Avoiding places or situations fearing an attack.
5. Worrying about the next panic attack.
How does Panic Attack Treatment work?
Panic attack treatment often involves cognitive-behavioral therapy to understand and change the thought patterns that trigger attacks. Techniques may include exposure therapy, relaxation exercises, and sometimes medication to manage symptoms effectively.
Why would I need Social Anxiety Therapy?
Ideal for those who experience significant anxiety in social situations, affecting their ability to engage and connect with others.
5 signs you may need Social Anxiety Therapy
1. Fear of judgment or embarrassment in social settings.
2. Avoiding new social interactions.
3. Physical symptoms in social situations.
4. Excessive worry about social events.
5. Difficulty in friendships due to social fear.
How does Social Anxiety Therapy work?
Social anxiety therapy includes exposure therapy to gradually face social situations, cognitive restructuring to challenge negative thoughts, and social skills training to improve interaction confidence. These methods aim to reduce social anxiety levels and enhance social functioning.
Why would I need Depression Therapy?
Depression Therapy is critical for those feeling a deep sense of sadness, hopelessness, or disinterest in life, which affects their daily function and happiness.
5 signs you may need Depression Therapy
1. Persistent hopelessness.
2. Losing interest in enjoyable activities.
3. Appetite or weight changes; sleep issues.
4. Constant fatigue.
5. Thoughts of death or suicide.
How does Depression Therapy work?
Depression therapy may involve different approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy to address negative thought patterns, interpersonal therapy to improve relationship skills, and psychodynamic therapy to explore underlying issues. These techniques aim to alleviate depressive symptoms and improve emotional well-being.
Why would I need Individual Therapy?
Individual Therapy is beneficial for addressing a broad spectrum of personal challenges, from navigating life changes to managing mental health conditions, in a personalized and confidential setting.
5 signs you may need Individual Therapy
1. Overwhelmed by stress or emotions.
2. Difficulty coping with life transitions or loss.
3. Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or anger.
4. Relationship problems or loneliness.
5. Behavioral or substance use issues.
How does Individual Therapy work?
Individual therapy involves one-on-one sessions with a therapist to explore personal issues, emotions, and behaviors. Through techniques tailored to the individual’s needs, such as cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, or humanistic approaches, therapy aims to provide insight, resolve issues, and promote psychological health.
